Sexual Grounding: Essential Practices for Healing and Overcoming Sexual PTSD
Apr 15, 2025
Introduction
Sexual PTSD doesn’t always show up in neat, clinical ways. According to the DSM-5, PTSD can include persistent negative beliefs, intrusive memories, and a diminished interest in significant activities—but when it comes to sexual trauma, some of us avoid intimacy altogether. Others might swing to the opposite extreme and become hypersexual, all to dodge the deeper pain hidden within.
So, how do we break these entrenched patterns? Through Sexual Grounding—practices that bring us back to our bodies, help us reframe our internal dialogue, and let us reclaim the kind of sex life that truly supports us in healing. Below, I’ll share practical, down-to-earth methods that I believe can make a world of difference in recovering from sexual PTSD.
Why Sexual Grounding Matters
Even if your trauma happened long ago, reminders can pop up like they’re happening right now. That’s the nature of PTSD—it drags us into the past when we should be safe in the present. Sexual Grounding is about recognising those triggers, connecting with our bodies, and transforming old associations into new, loving experiences.
Keep in mind, official criteria may not always capture everyone’s unique struggles. You might not have “persistent symptoms” because you’ve perfected the art of avoiding intimate contact. Or you might overindulge in sexual experiences to mask the pain. Either way, addressing how these patterns impact your sexuality is crucial for genuine healing.
1. Identify Resistance
Step One: Recognise where you’re digging in your heels. Pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours around sex. Do you tense up when the topic comes up? Do you find reasons to avoid intimacy? Or maybe you go into hyperdrive, chasing sexual encounters you don’t actually want?
- Emotional Resistance: Pay attention to feelings of fear, shame, or anger when sex is on the table.
- Behavioural Resistance: Notice if you make excuses to avoid sexual or intimate moments.
- Cognitive Resistance: Watch for negative thoughts (“I’m broken,” “I don’t deserve pleasure”) that reinforce old patterns.
This is a treasure trove of information. Recognising these responses is the first step toward out-conditioning your PTSD triggers.
2. Connect with Your Body
Too often, we live in our heads, replaying painful memories. Grounding yourself in physical sensations can gently guide you back into the present.
- Body Check-Ins: Pause and scan your body from head to toe. Where do you feel tension or heaviness? Can you breathe into those spaces?
- Gentle Movement: Yoga, light stretching, or even a short walk can help you feel the body’s signals.
- Balance Mind and Body: If you’re spinning out in your thoughts, shift attention to your body’s warmth or weight against a chair. If you’re overwhelmed by physical sensations, try labelling your thoughts or naming objects around you to get some cognitive distance.
3. Connect with Your Sex
Sexual Grounding isn’t just about general body awareness—it’s about reclaiming your sexual essence.
- Self-Touch or Masturbation: Yes, self-pleasure can be powerful for healing. Reframe it from being “just physical” into a loving act where your mind, body, and emotions unite.
- Explore Resistance: If even the idea of self-touch feels triggering, that’s okay. Be curious: “What’s beneath this discomfort?” Let that question guide you toward new understanding.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Sometimes, simply allowing the thought of touching yourself is a victory. Let progress be gradual and self-compassionate.
4. Breathe Intimately
We hear about breathing exercises all the time, but this is about intentional, intimate breathing—especially when dealing with PTSD.
- Life-Force In, Pain Out: With each inhale, imagine drawing in kindness, warmth, and safety. With each exhale, consciously release any old energy or tension you don’t need.
- Infuse Love: Picture that fresh breath as a gentle caress for your body and mind. This simple shift in visualisation can make a big difference in how you feel.
5. Recondition Your Senses
Sexual trauma often links everyday sensations—smells, sounds, places—to painful memories. Let’s rewrite that story:
- New Scents: Introduce calming or exciting scents into intimate moments—candles, essential oils, or fresh flowers.
- Music & Lighting: Curate a playlist that soothes or uplifts you. Adjust lighting to create an environment where you feel secure and free.
- Taste & Texture: Experiment with foods or textures that bring pleasure and comfort. Mindfully savour each moment to form new, positive associations.
6. Rescript Your Internal Language
We humans are word-driven creatures, and negative self-talk can be our worst enemy.
- Notice & Replace: The moment you catch a harsh inner critic saying “I’m worthless” or “I’m broken,” swap in a statement you’d want to hear—“I’m healing,” “I deserve love,” or “I’m stronger every day.”
- Journaling: Write down the unhelpful thoughts, then rewrite them in a more supportive way. Doing this daily can rewire your brain over time.
- Affirmations: Speak them out loud if you can. Hearing your own voice declare “I am worthy of love and respect” is more powerful than most people realise.
Conclusion
Sexual PTSD may try to trap us in old loops of fear, avoidance, or hyper-vigilance, but Sexual Grounding empowers us to reclaim the intimate parts of ourselves. It’s an ongoing process—one that takes self-awareness, commitment, and plenty of grace. By identifying resistance, reconnecting with your body, and nurturing a kinder internal dialogue, you can gradually rewire the way you experience intimacy.
Vaya Con Dios
Remember, healing is not linear. Some days will be tougher than others. But with each conscious step you take toward Sexual Grounding, you’re breaking the chains of trauma and moving closer to a life where intimacy isn’t just possible, but profoundly fulfilling.
Need more help
Sometimes we all need a little extra support, and that's okay. If you're feeling stuck, struggling with a relationship, or simply want to make positive changes in your life, I’m here to walk that journey with you. The most meaningful step for you is to reach out and try a free session to see if we can resolve this.
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