The Yoni from my perspective is one of the most extraordinary parts of the female body. I always think back to one of my early training days where we watched a video of Masters and Johnston, the first pioneers of sexual research and one video was focused on displaying the inner workings of the female arousal response.

There was a moment where you could see the vaginal walls “sweat” with lubrication and I was completely in awe of the process. This was the moment where I thought to myself, this is something beyond special that I’m observing here. A problem that I later encountered consistently was the relationship that both men and women have towards Yoni’s.

The countless women I have worked with have many a time shown a real disconnect with their own intimate parts. This disconnect always flagged up the need for further exploration for the individual and an urge from my part to assist them in understanding the extraordinary part of their body they have been overlooking for such a long time.

This brings me to the relationship that both men and women have with oral sex, and when it comes to what I like to call “devouring the Yoni”, I don’t believe that everyone has the same feeling or desire to want to do that because of so many beliefs around the yoni.

First things first:

Yoni’s are all different in size, and shape, and texture and smell and taste. This is a given, but many people struggle with the knowledge that there are a number of factors around devouring yoni that might not go with your taste.

Every single one has a particular taste, and there are a number of different smells and tastes that one should be aware of when performing oral sex.

1.     Tangy and fermented: This is because the good bacteria (Lactobacilli) dominate healthy Yonis and this is an indication of healthy Yoni. The pH of a healthy vagina is slightly acidic between 3.8 and 4.5 pH, and this bacteria protects against other bad bacteria.

2.     Coppery: The metallic odour is nothing to worry about and the reason is that it is possibly down to a menstruation smell. This smell can vary in intensity and is very dependent on the individual. Some women have a stronger or weaker smell than others during their cycle. A concern would be if there is constant spotting and this needs to be consulted properly with your doctor and especially your Gynaecologist.

3.     Sweet but earthy: This is a very normal smell and once again is due to the bacteria doing its job and maintaining a very proficient ecosystem in check

4.     Chemical: Sometimes this odour should be a reason to see a doctor because it could be a potential case of BV (Bacterial Vaginosis). Due to dehydration there will be a stronger smell of ammonia in urine, so keep in mind that this could be a potential reason too.

5.     Skunky odour: emotional stress can be a contributor to this type of smell. This is because the apocrine and eccrine glands (sweat glands) are activated when we experience different types of emotions. The apocrine glands are found in the armpits and the groin, so be mindful of your stress levels.

6.     Fishy odour: More than likely you’re experiencing BV (Bacterial Vaginosis, or Trichomoniasis. Between the two, Trichomoniasis is the one that smells particularly fishy. Trichomoniasis can be treated with antibiotics while BV may have unknown reasons why its developed, might be a bit trickier to resolve due to the overgrowth of anaerobic bacteria in the vagina.

7.     Rotting Odour: Many women out of shame (not sure about pure forgetfulness) have forgotten to remove a tampon and many gynaecologists have had to assist women in the removal. This is not something to be embarrassed about, but is more concerning from a health perspective. 

As a rule of thumb see a doctor if:

-       There is any itching and burning 

-       Pelvic Pain 

-       Pain during sex

-       Thick, cottage cheese discharge 

-       Vaginal bleeding unrelated to your cycle.

Back to the fun part: What to do with your tongue

Each and every Yoni owner is going to have a completely different relationship with you going down on them. The same way that you relate differently to every person you meet, so the principle applies to every Yoni you meet. Here are some things to consider on your downward journey:

-       Be mindful of tongue pressure

-       Take note of your rhythm

-       Speed check yourself

-       Which angle are you coming from, head on or from the side

-       Do you place your mouth over the whole of the Yoni or just focus on one part

-       Do you insert your tongue or fingers while connecting

-       Do you gesture for guidance with her hands managing your head

As you can see these are but a few possible points to consider which make the experience even more worthwhile, because you literally can be as creative as possible (checkin with your partner what feels good though). Or you can be as simple as possible and reach the point you desire.

A point to remember is that you need to use communication both verbal and non-verbal to assess how your partner is feeling about the experience. Because many of us find oral sex more intimate that actual penetrative sex, there may be some anxieties around the process.

Because we mirror anxieties and general energies in people around us. When it comes to being naked with one another, be mindful that your anxieties will be potentially mirrored in your partner. So focus on your breathing and make sure that you are present. Be calm. Be excited. Enjoy the delights that await you and most importantly enjoy each other. Sex can be the whole range of beautiful intensities. So learn how to flow with your partner and you’ll be sure to know all the right buttons to push.

A final point to consider… To the bum or not to go to the bum… this is the question:

Depending on the position your partner is in (bum up in doggy style, or missionary style legs open), will depend the access you have to her other heavenly delights. This is namely her anus. Bearing in mind that the anus itself has millions of nerve endings, it can be a great addition to the Yoni devouring experience but it will be dependent on how your partner relates to you going to her “behind”.

When you do engage with the anus, remember that the more concentrated you are with your tongue, the more focus will be brought to the attention of your partner to that particular part. So by spreading your attention will make the whole experience more rounded and more of a general arousal focus.

At the end of the day, keep communication open and make it fun. This is the key.

Ultimately your experience with your partners Yoni needs to be delightful. It needs to be a freeing experience for both you and your partner. It needs to be a means of expressiveness and deeply connecting in the moment. It will not only help your partner surrender to the pleasures that await, but it becomes a platform to sexually liberate yourself too. The magnificence of the Yoni is all encompassing and we need to see that there is a deeper connection at hand, but we need to learn to be surrendered to the experience.